


Apricity

by quantumoddity



Series: Unusual Words Prompts [6]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family Issues, M/M, Quiet Character goes off, Trans Caduceus Clay, Trans Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23546692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumoddity/pseuds/quantumoddity
Summary: apricity: (n.) the warmth of the sun in the winterCad realises he still has some conversations to have with his family
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Series: Unusual Words Prompts [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687018
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72





	Apricity

Caduceus didn’t realise where he was going, where his feet were taking him, until he was nearly there. When he realised, he gave a resigned sigh and kept going.

Some things didn’t change. Even when you thought they had.

The clearing was tucked away so neatly behind some overgrown hawthorn bushes that you’d never know it was there unless you pushed through them. Cad wasn’t fool enough to think that there was a single corner of the Blooming Grove that his family didn’t know about but this was always the easiest place to pretend he had privacy. 

However, he did remember squirming between these bushes to be a lot easier when he was a little one. And when he wasn’t eight months pregnant. 

It was still doable, however, with a whispered plea to the bushes themselves to just give him a break. He must have sounded suitably exhausted because they parted immediately, heavy berries swaying with the movement, the frost that encased them catching the pale sunlight. Cad thanked them sincerely and stepped once again into his childhood bolt hole. 

A twisted ash tree, ancient and wearing fungus and polypores the way an aging dame would wear fabulous jewels, had been bowed by time and wind and winters like this one, it’s branches spreading out to form a slightly domed roof. The trunk was sunken slightly, giving a perfect place to set your back and sit beneath it and everything was always close and slightly warmer than it was beyond. The way the shadows fell, like fingers, it made Cad feel like he was in the grasp of someone, small and supported and safe. He felt hidden. 

Easing himself down against the tree was more difficult now he was large and unwieldy, in far less control of his body than he’d ever been. But he managed. He sighed and let his eyes close, deflating a little, putting a hand on his stomach the way he’d been doing ever since he was made aware of the three little lives taking shape inside it. 

He needed to stop getting worked up like that. It wasn’t good for the babies. 

Cad hadn’t meant to get frustrated, he never did. But it was getting harder and harder to bite down on thoughts he never even would have entertained back when he was younger and the Grove was the only home he knew and ever expected to know. Back then, he’d just turned them into a hard little knot in the back of his mind and covered them with other thoughts, telling himself sternly that he had no right to entertain them. They were his parents. They were his family. 

They were always right and he wasn’t. 

But then maybe if he hadn’t spent his childhood and adolescence thinking that way, he would have spent less hours sitting in this little clearing wondering why he was angry and feeling guilty about it. 

Caduceus exhaled and leaned back, grimacing slightly at an internal kick aimed directly at something vital inside him, “Hey, hey…” 

“They're still acting up, huh?”

Caduceus looked up, not surprised or startled, though he did blush. Fjord’s entrance through the hawthorns wasn’t as smooth and he ended up with curls of cracked ice on his shoulders and a few twigs in his hair, though he seemed far more focused on Caduceus. 

“It’s a little cold to be sitting outside,” Fjord approached gently, like his husband might bolt again, “Don’t you think?”

“I don’t get cold easy,” Cad shrugged, trying not to sound petulant, like Fjord wasn’t right to be treating him with kid gloves right now, “I’m covered in fur and my stomach’s a space heater.” 

Fjord laughed at that, though it wasn’t meant to be a joke. He came up and gestured to the spot next to Cad, “Can I sit there?”

Cad swallowed, touched that Fjord would ask permission, nodding hard. He realised then how much he wanted him near. As soon as he was seated, the frost covered grass crunching underneath him, Cad leaned into his shoulder. He was wearing the battered old coat Cad liked to see him in, the one he’d given him way back when they’d started dating, worried his fur-less boyfriend would get too cold in the winter. 

“So...I was out back chopping logs for your mother but it sounds like you and your brother had a bit of a bust up?” Fjord began levelly. 

Cad felt his cheeks heat up more, “He just...he just made some comment.”

“Ah,” Fjord made a non committal sound, waiting to see if his husband would elaborate. 

“Just something about the city not being a good place to raise children,” Cad muttered, “He wasn’t...I mean, it’s just his opinion but…” 

Fjord nodded slowly, pulling in closer, both because he could tell Caduceus needed some comfort and because he was growing cold. 

“They’re still acting like my moving out was some reckless teenage thing,” he eventually got out, voice shrinking, “Like they’re still waiting for me to realise it was a mistake and come home with my tail between my legs. They don’t understand it’s my life now.” 

Fjord nodded, reaching over to put a hand on his knee, “They do seem like they’re trying to be very...patient.”

“Exactly!” relief seemed to flood Cad’s features and suddenly the words were pouring out, “It’s just the same as when I brought Charlie home with us. They still see me as a little kid, like they don’t have to take anything I do seriously because it's ‘oh, Cad will come to his senses soon and come back and run the Grove while we go do exactly what we’re telling him he shouldn’t be doing’...and it isn’t fair! It’s not fair to you or Charlie or the babies or...or me!”

Cad winced as those last words echoed through the clearing, caught in the ash’s fingers and bounced back at him. His ears fell and he cringed, like he was expecting someone to come and punish him immediately for saying what he’d said. 

But Fjord only looked at him with a gentle sadness, hand still stroking his knee, “Cad, you’re allowed to feel what you feel. There isn’t anything wrong with being frustrated with the people you’re closest to. I mean, hell, you get annoyed with me sometimes, right? And you still love me.”

Cad blushed at that, “But you’re perfect…”

Fjord chuckled, leaning in and kissing his cheek. His lips were cold. 

“I’m not. No one is, not even your family. But they adore you. Love’s funny, it sometimes makes you say things and think things that, in the end, aren’t best for everyone. But part of loving people is being able to say what you’re feeling and work with them to make everyone happy again.” 

Cad bit his lip, nodding slowly, hands coming to cradle his belly like a comfort blanket, “I know...and I love them too. I really do. That’s why I wanted to have my babies here.” 

“And we’ll all love them just as much too,” Fjord shrugs, “And we’ll make mistakes too and work through them and get better because of them. That’s how family works.” 

Cad exhaled, resting back against the tree, looking up through the branches. The sunlight caught in the snow resting in the forks and boughs and turning the leaves to glass, split and shone in all directions. 

“When did you get so insightful?” he murmured.

Fjord laughed, “When you sent me to therapy.” 

“Oh yes. I remember. That makes sense.”

Fjord grinned, leaning in and kissing him again. Cad turned to meet it this time, catching his mouth, ears twitching happily. It lasted a good few heartbeats, the only sound around them the song of the birds who braved the snow. 

Eventually, Cad drew back and sighed, “Okay...best go back to the house, I have some apologies to make. And a conversation to have, I suppose.” 

“Alright,” Fjord nodded, “Let me know if you’re getting worked up though. Stressful situations can trigger labour.” 

“I might be okay with that,” Cad winced as he rose up and all his new weight surged downwards again, concentrating in his already unhappy ankles and tailbone, “Joking.” Fjord had been spending the last eight months fretting constantly and he wasn’t eager to set him off. 

As adorable as it was. 

“And you are perfect,” he added, catching Fjord’s hand and threading their fingers together, “Just so you know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Pleeeease consider leaving a comment!


End file.
